ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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