It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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