lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
