whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think i have two assholes
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
