I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
