It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
