he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
