I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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