He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
