R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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