I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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