apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
