so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
