I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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