Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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