I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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