If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
