You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
