I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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