okay pat passed out under dana's car
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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