I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We left the knife in your bed.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
