yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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