my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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