If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
