spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
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