Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
