you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
