whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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