What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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