why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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