Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
