The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
3 2 1 whiskey
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
