That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
