At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
