Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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