K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
