What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
