I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
