How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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