I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you would pick up someone in the library
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
