Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Terrible idea I love it
Everclear isn't food dammit
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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