I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Swine flu is the new snow day.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
