4 words: hood of his car
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
