I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize