wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
