I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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