If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
