Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
