Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize