his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
