i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
