its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
