just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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