My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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