so that wasnt chicken after all
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
