wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we're making bets on your personal life
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We have started to decorate penises.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
