Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
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