So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
