I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i think i just lost a toe
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
