Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
